twenty four lessons for twenty four months

Yoshitomo Nara, Life is Only One!, 2007

I moved to New York two years ago; I’m a wildly different person today than I was then—new grad, new city, new job, new relationship, peak-COVID. Here are twenty four things I’ve learned over the past twenty four months—some obvious, some not.

1. Feel your feelings. There will be experiences/emotions that are impossible to explain/express with words; that does not make them any less important or valid. Also, processing your emotions does not necessarily mean stewing/analyzing. Acknowledge them, feel them, let them pass through your body.

   1. Read: What My Bones Know by Stephanie Foo

2. Act your age. There is no better time to be young and dumb than when you are literally… young and dumb.

   1. Ask: “If I were to do this 5-10 years from now instead, would it be cringier?” If the answer is yes, do it now.

3. Doing > Thinking. Acknowledge that there is so much you don’t know yet, but do not let that stop you from doing whatever you want to do.

   1. Read: Mindstorms by Seymour Papert

   2. Read: Surely You’re Joking, Mr. Feynman! by Richard Feynman

4. Films don’t need to have narrative/plot.

   1. Watch: Wong Kar-wai

5. YA fiction is very hard to write well, and is very underrated.

   1. Read: Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin

6. Have intergenerational friendships. Having friends 2, 5, 10, etc. years older/younger than you is so important.

7. Energy compounds. The way you begin your day is the most important part of your day.

   1. Read: Advice That Actually Worked For Me

8. Consistency is the key to developing any type of practice.

   1. Read: What I Talk About When I Talk About Running by Haruki Murakami

9. Dance in public. Even if it’s just little hand gestures or seat wiggles, dancing will always put you in a better mood; chances are that it’ll put someone else around you in a better mood too.

10. Relationships always require compromise. If you don’t have a grasp of what you’re willing/not willing to compromise (both are important), your relationships will be set up for failure.

11. Most underrated skills:

    1. Asking good questions

    2. Writing

12. Keep your squad up. Your friends will be your biggest inspirations. Invest in those friendships. Be a billboard for your friends’ shit.

13. Ten year plans are bad, actually.

14. Rose colored glasses are good, actually.

15. The best creatives are multi-hyphenate, or often reject labels entirely. (see: 3)

16. The best companies are containers. (see: 15)

17. Storytelling matters. How you say something is just as, if not more, important as what you say.

18. Life shifts. Most peers are largely in the same stage of life until around age 23. After that, it diverges drastically. (Two 28 y/o’s you know could be in wildly different stages of life).

19. Enjoy spending time with yourself. Don’t view it as a chore.

20. Concentrate your control. Getting older means naturally concentrating your effort around a few things that matter, and becoming extremely chill about everything else.

21. Speak intentionally. If you have an opinion on something, be able to back it up.

22. Complementary opposites.

    1. Read: KERNEL: The Play of Pattern

    2. Read: The Agony of Eros by Byung-chul Han

23. There is never an objective right answer.

    1. Ask: “Is this the right decision for me at this time, given the information I have today?”

24. Have conviction. Once you make a decision, stand by it. Energy spent asking “what if” is energy wasted.

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took inspiration from Aditi’s Semi Mid Year Learnings, read them if you haven’t already :)